My Mercurial Nature

I Couldn't Love More

2012-02-12T21:47:00.000-08:00

This weeks Listicles are all about Love ~ Perfect for Valentines Day, yes?

That said, my Love list is much more this week because:

10) I feel blessed that beyond the candy hearts, which I love...

9) The chocolates, which I love...

8) The flowers, which I love...

7) The sweet little gifts, which I love...

6) The excuse to get a Starbucks (what? you don't use all holidays for a coffee excuse?), which I love...

5) The pink and sparkly, which I love...

4) The Valentines cards, which I love...

3) The preschool Valentine craft, which I love...

2) And the chance to be pampered, which I love...

1) My beautiful son, the boy who changed my world, who gave me strength, who is my pride and joy, turns eleven the day after Valentines. My son is Love.

Counting Past Three

2012-02-09T16:00:00.000-08:00

Research was needed to write today: thankfully not the type that includes prolonged metaphors, editing, adding back, editing again, or running about like the proverbial headless chicken trying to meet deadlines. No, today's scavenger hunt was all about that absurd, fat, groundhog.

Is it Punxataney? Punxitawney? Punxatawney?

Turns out it's: Punxsutawney. I would've gotten there eventually.

Of course we all know the, Phil, part. It'll be a sad day should I ever need help with that.

So our good friend, Phil, is obviously a batty old liar...at least, for those in the PacNW. Here, my daffodils and irises are already peeking up, the grass needs mowing, and we've had a few days that hit 60 degrees.

I'm with Jabari, here. Oregon Zoo's little Hedgehog predicts an early spring. Plus, he's so.damn.cute!

(yes, I know I'm a week late with my Groundhog Day post...I've been busy, people!)

I despise Roman Numerals. IV, VI, MDCCX...

I think my History book just makes this shit up:

King Someoneorother the GHTVRBIQLS was the son of King Anothersomeoneorother the XVJEFJMAPSDJFD

Sure. Sure he was.

I'll be over here thinking about Hedgehogs, k?

Wrapping up my Friday Fragments with a sincere apology to all my bloggy friends! I've been a blog comment slacker and missed so many posts. I want to read them, but the bad angel (or good, depending on your point of view) keeps telling me that if I have time to read, I should be reading textbooks.

If only I'd been this diligent the first time round at school!

Where The Goblins Play

2012-02-07T20:36:00.000-08:00

On a walk one day, while shaking off gloom and madness;

every tree became a monster, every nook contained a sneaking elf,

every pond held a stealthy crocodile.

Ten Years Ago...

2012-02-07T07:54:00.000-08:00

Ten years ago, on this day, I was "Mommy" to only one child. Moreso, that one child was only a few days shy of his first birthday, which probably meant I was doing a lot of reflecting back on his birth and the transformation my life had undergone in the last year.

Ten years ago I was in a different city, in a different home, doing a different job, and had no idea where life could take me. I wasn't yet ready to accept the courage that Motherhood had given me, though it was just on the horizon. My life, then, was in flux...not the kind that comes from my disorder, not the way that each day has the chance to throw a wrench in your plans for life, but rather because I wasn't sure WHO I was.

So, ten years ago I was learning. I hope to continue to do so for many years to come--and more, I hope to grasp my WHO and revel in the NOW.

Instrument Of Torture

2012-02-01T18:00:00.000-08:00

My son hopped in the car one day after school last week, with a long, skinny, white bag clutched in his almost 11 year old hands.

All Mom's know what was in the bag. They know, because it's an instrument of torture.

While I deconstruct the meaning of Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales", my son plays "Hot Cross Buns" ...

and then he plays it again.

and again.

When you think it can't get worse, it can...

Because my husband took the kids to the store, giving me pure silence in which to study and..

They tromp back in, the almost 5yr old clutching her treasure.

What is it?

Wha? A harmonica?

Hittin' The Books - Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-31T19:40:00.000-08:00

No, the dog didn't eat my homework!

She does my homework!

She's really quite talented. If only she'd learn to cook and clean, too.

Shake Off The Dust

2012-01-30T20:06:00.000-08:00

It's time to shake off Monday's dust and start anew...

"One can never consent to creep,

when one feels the impulse to soar."

Helen Keller

My Well is Dry

2012-01-30T11:15:00.000-08:00

When I drop the proverbial bucket into the well, and I crank it back up, all I find is a bit of dust and stones.

My well has gone dry...it has been hydrating my essays and lubricating the pathways in my brain that look for ways to contain information in my memory without other bits falling out.

It appears I have little left to give...and I'm feeling the effects of this in a major way. Where am I? Under the student, the mother, the wife, the cleaner and cook and chauffeur?

When laundry and mopping are fascinating, because they are the bare bones of each day...can the well be expecting to fill? Where is the flood?

And...

Can something grow when all that's left is dust?

Starting out Monday empty seems a disappointing beginning.

SOOC - What Are They Looking For?

2012-01-28T09:03:00.000-08:00

She's watching and waiting...

She's not so patient...

Aha! There she is!

This Is What I Am

2012-01-27T21:03:00.000-08:00

On Friday I wait...

I check, I walk away, I look again...

Until eventually,

The grades roll in for the week.

I find out...How I test. How I research. How I formulate a theory.

Today I found out,

"Yourgreat word-choices, strong voice,

powerful sentences all say

“I’m a writer!”

tome!"

Leaving Me Speechless

2012-01-24T04:00:00.000-08:00

A friend (found here) tweeted (do you follow me on twitter?) this quote to me recently...and it left me (of all people!) speechless!

May each of you who read this realize that it applies to YOU, too:

This Listicle Is Making Me Anxious

2012-01-23T10:08:00.000-08:00

It's time for a Listicle...and because I had a choice, I chose to tackle them both, sorta. Not really, but a little. Thanks Two Normal Moms for giving me reason to pray to the Xanax Gods!

The choices are as follows:

Make a list of 10 things you'd like to see happen before you die.
-OR-
Make a list of 10 things that give you anxiety.

And so I anxiously give you...A list of 10 things that give me anxiety about doing before I die!

1. tap, tap, tap...Erm...tap, tap, tap...Well, I'd like to complete this list before I die. I'm not sure it's going to happen, because I may end up on the floor in the fetal position just trying to come up with a list of ten.

2. I'd like to see a 4.0 grade point average. For me, btw, not the kids. Which probably won't happen, because during my last test I stared at the questions, felt like peeing my pants, and muttered things like, "Wha..? Er...huh? Shit, fuck...did I read that?"

3. Here goes the mushy gushy stuff: I'd like to see my children grow to become healthy, happy, successful individuals. I worry every.single.day about missing something, or attributing to their need for therapy as adults.

4-9. Worry, pace, tap, tap, tap, Worry, pace, tap, tap, tap, Is the sky falling? OMG! Did I stunt my children? OMG! Did I not see enough of the world? OMG! HaveIcontributedtothemeltingofthepolaricecapsandwalkedaroundwithamommypoochbecauseIdidn'tdoenoughsitups? OMFG!

10. I'd like to stop thinking about what I want to do/see before I die. I'm starting to wonder if there's an anvil somewhere above my head, just waiting to drop.

Holes In My Shirts!

2012-01-21T10:09:00.000-08:00

There's a conspiracy brewing in my closet...

It's driving me to the brink of madness!

sure, i already have a vacation home there...that's not the point!

Do you see them? Tiny little holes in my shirt!

And it's not just that shirt, it's nearly every shirt in my closet!

What the hell is happening around here?

My husbands shirts don't have tiny little holes!

My son's shirts don't have tiny little holes!

My daughters shirts don't have tiny little holes!

Why is it just mine?

I buy a brand new shirt and within a few months these itty-bitty holes have developed in the fabric of my shirts. All on the front, lower half, of my shirts! And it doesn't seem to matter if the shirt was $50, or $5, it still happens.

Does this happen to anyone else? Or are the tiny madness fairies appearing in my closet each night to poke holes in my shirts, while laughing in their tiny, evil, maniacal, way?

33 Pages Of Hell

2012-01-19T11:06:00.000-08:00

Yes, pages, not stages.

The 33 Pages of Hell...

Otherwise known as, "The Art World Expands"

Chapter One of this Art History course.

I used to teach a simple art class to a group of 1st-3rd graders. I love art.

I do. Really.

Reading this book? Is like stabbing oneself in the forehead repeatedly with a plastic fork.

When my head explodes, I'll be done with the 33 pages of hell.

Stop SOPA

2012-01-18T08:48:00.000-08:00

Stop SOPA

Super WHAT? On Picnesday - Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-17T20:26:00.000-08:00

What's that I see?

It's a bird!

It's a plane!

Able to leap tall trees in a single bound! Faster than a Labrador!

It's...

(avert your eyes, Connie)

SQUIRREL:

He must be a very hungry little guy!

I now return you to your regularly channeled picture viewing...

Not THAT Kind of Mom!

2012-01-16T19:26:00.000-08:00

Sure, it's Tuesday's post...but they're Mondays Listicles!

...And the great idea? came from Greta, at Not Enough Patience.

So, the top 10 things I said I'd never do (as a mom)?

1. I would never...Yell at my children in frustration or anger!

*Sure, and while I'm at it, I won't yell at the husband either. Or the dogs. Or the football players on the television.

2. I would never...Need a mommy time-out!

*Right, and I'd never yell, either. Oh wait...

3. I would never...Get drunk in front of my children.

*Because seriously, what kind of Mother is nearly vomiting on herself, laying on her friends couch after too much vodka--while the friend, the friends child, and your own child, watch. Whatever...judgey judgers.

4. I would never...Let my child veg in front of the television.

*What else are the little buggers supposed to do while I'm getting drunk? I mean really.

5. Being semi-crunchy, I do believe I said something like, I would never...Put my child in disposable diapers.

*And I held to that with my first child. The second one? I loved huggies.

6. I would never...cuss in front of my children.

*So here's the thing, I've got a fuckin' potty mouth, okay? Sometimes I just don't give a damn. Remember what I said about judgey judgersons, bitch? That's right.

7. I would never...be that mom at sports events. Yes, you know the one.

*Asshole parents. That's all I'm saying. Now get outta my way while I take picture #6 billion of my little star.

8. I would never...give my child food/binky/teething ring that had dropped on the floor.

*That's why they invented the 5 second rule. And why that rule is soooooo...o...o....o...o flexible.

9. I would never...argue in front of my children.

*And then I'd never argue with my children, either. I'm just making good little debaters.

10. I would never...return to working outside the home until my children were in school.

*And we'd win the lottery, go on vacations to France, and hire Mary Poppins.

Manic or Maniacal - Monday

2012-01-15T18:00:00.000-08:00

What's the difference between a Manic Monday and a Maniacal Monday?

Nothing.

Moving on...

Last Monday was my first day of "Back To School", and my bestie (who blogs over here) had me laughing away my nerves by emailing to ask if I had, "picked out my best back to school outfit" and if I was "wearing my patent leather mary janes".

I can't decide what's funnier...the question, or the fact that I did, in fact, lay out my clothes for my first day!

Then again, it could be my choice of outfit...

Yes, there's a hole in the crotchital region of my favorite jeans.

Has it stopped me from wearing them? Of course not!

Do you know how hard it is to find a good pair of jeans!?

All The Best People Are

2012-01-13T09:30:00.000-08:00

Have you ever gone 'round the bend only to discover that you're right back where you started?

I do this daily.

More than once a day, if truth be told.

I'm overzealous and overtired.

And I wonder...

When did it become so wrong to be overly medicated.

Tomorrow Today, or Tomorrow Tomorrow?

2012-01-11T19:55:00.000-08:00

The littlest is still working on her grasp of time.

"When do I go back to preschool?"

Me "In three days."

So she counts, using her fingers, "One, Two, Three....Is it time to go now?"

Insert eye roll.

As we leave the park (after day two of our break in the clouds) she says,

"Can we come back to the park?"

Me "Yes, tomorrow, if it's not raining."

Slight pause and, "Tomorrow today, or tomorrow tomorrow?"

Me "Tomorrow Tomorrow"

"Oh MAN!"

A Break In The Clouds

2012-01-10T19:05:00.000-08:00

Today, a break in the clouds

meant a break from the books

a break from the house

and a trip to the park!

Also linking up with Instagram Wednesdays over at Emily's Thought Blog! I puffy heart Instragram!

Under A Pile Of Books

2012-01-09T20:10:00.000-08:00

Have you seen me lately? Oh...I'm underneath a pile of books (like this one)...or these:

Books to the ceiling, books to the sky,

My piles of books are a mile high.

How I love them!

How I need them!

I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.

Arnold Lobel

Just Another Manic Monday...

2012-01-08T17:00:00.000-08:00

I wish it was Sunday....

The holidays took their toll on me...I was wiped, which lead to sad, which lead soon to laying in bed pondering life.

It is, for all intents and purposes, the medicated version of my elevator life. Stress, plus trigger, equals elevator goes down...
down...
down...

DING!

Up...

up...

Enter support, med change, a little time, and the elevator goes back up...

As it does, Monday approaches...and I'm a student again (it's been almost 15 years).

Have you seen the size of this book?

No problem if the text inside were about THIS BIG...

But no...it's like this big...can you even READ THIS? if you can, please read the book for me. Or shoot me. Now.

You'll excuse me while I wring my hands, pace the kitchen, and try not to vomit on myself, yes?

Stealing Sundays? Mmm, Sundaes!

2012-01-08T12:29:00.000-08:00

Playing another 'round of Sunday Stealing!

1. Song that always makes you sad? Well, there are a few that make me sad because they're horrid, but yesterday I heard, "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry and I was SO sad. I love that song...but wahhh!

2. Last thing you bought? A rather large box of "cuties" (yes, they come by the box! Does anyone know what I'm talking about?)

3. Last person you argued with? Had a little back n' forth with my Mother this morning (by phone).

4. Do you put butter before putting the peanut butter on? No. I recall perfectly the first time I heard of it...such an odd thing to do!

5. One of your stuffed animals’ names as a kid? I don't believe I ever gave them names?

6. Did you ever at one time own a Barenaked Ladies CD? Nope!

7. Favorite day of the week? I'm fond of Saturday...sleeping in, staying up, no worries about what to get ready for the next day.

8. Favorite sundae topping? Mmmm...sundaes! I love sundaes. I want one now. Oooh, and the answer: Chocolate!!! Yummmy!

9. Did you take piano lessons? I did. For quite a few years, actually. I really enjoyed playing the piano.

10. Most frequent song played? Canon in D

11. T.V. show you secretly enjoy? It's not a secret...I'm a Trekkie. I love Star Trek. I love the movies, I love all the shows, and I love that Netflix has all of them available streaming.

12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey? Basketball!

13. Date someone older or younger? I'm married...I think my husband might take issue with that.

14. One place you could travel right now? A place I want to travel to, or COULD travel to? I could travel to the grocers. I'd like very much to travel someplace warm, sunny, and quiet...

15. Do you use umbrellas? In the PacNW we don't use umbrellas, unless standing outside for hours, or in the sun. ;-)

16. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem? Something about Oh Canada...is there more? Ha!

17. Favorite cheese? Mmm...I love cheese. Lets see, I love pepperjack cheese.

18. The Smith’s or The Cure? The Who

19. Do you prefer blondes or brunettes? Bahahaha

20. Best job you ever had? I was laid off from the best job I ever had in June. Thanks education funding.

Bend-a-roo Sundae

I'm Too Old For School!

2012-01-07T09:47:00.000-08:00

What have I gotten myself into?

Friday Fragments - Dr. House Recommended!

2012-01-05T18:00:00.000-08:00

It's 2012.

Isn't that WEIRD? Okay, quick poll! Do you say:

"twenty-twelve"

"two thousand-twelve" (counts also if you say "two thousand AND twelve")

Choose wisely, your answers could possibly impact my husbands state of happiness. And if you haven't figured me out yet, I like to keep him alert, watching his back, and knowing not to piss me off.

His happiness could lead to my unhappiness.

Sure, he won't say much. But I'll know, deep in the recesses of his brain, that he's chuckling.

Bastard.

I'm returning to college in t-minus 4 days. Do you hear the clock ticking down? I do...and it's getting louder.

This is all going to be a huge waste of time if the world ends!

I'm ending my fragments this week with a thought:

Why, oh why, can't I just have a refill on these Vicodin ~~from a year ago when I injured my back and no I don't currently have any pain, except the pain in the asses that I live with!~~?

I understand, now, why my Grandmother got so ranty over her little blue pills.

What Does The Mommy Say?

2012-01-04T18:00:00.000-08:00

I walked past my daughters bedroom while the hubs was reading her a story...

Husband: "What does the sheep say?"

Daughter: "Baaaa"

Husband: "What does the owl say?"

Daughter: "Whooo Whoooo"

Standing outside the room I said, "What does the Daddy say"

Daughter: "Come here 'Littlest', lets read a book."

Me: "And what does the Mommy say?"

This is when I'm waiting for a sweet, heart-warming, wayyyy better than Daddy, response...

And instead I got,

Daughter: "Come here, 'Littlest', you need to clean your room!"

And the house BURST into laughter...which promptly ended when I told all of them to get busy cleaning THEIR rooms. Take that!

Wordless Wednesday - With Pennies!

2012-01-03T17:58:00.000-08:00

Do you wonder what my husband does while I'm ~~going off the deep end~~ blogging?

Noooo...not THAT!

OR THAT!

He makes Penny Bridges (instructions)

Penny Bridge

Don't Paint Me Into A Corner

2012-01-02T18:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I celebrated the first day of 2012 with a post about my blog name....today I blog about the finer points of why my nature is a mercurial one.

Let it be known, before I should even begin, that my blog, as well as myself, will never be defined entirely by all of this heart spilling. It is, however, a part of me that my life (which is often spilled in all it's embarrassing details across the posts) that 2012 will now allow me to hide in shadows anymore.

And so...

I skirt. Hover over, around, and under it. The thesaurus in my brain is helpful...so I can play with my words, leaving little bits of what I mean to say or type or write about.

It's the biggest thing going. Every waking and sleeping hour of my life is touched, impacted by lightly and with awesome pressure, by the thing that I cannot bear to bare. I keep all the world in a dusky haze, allowing them to see just the tendrils, knowing, believing, that should they see the roots I'd be left to wither and die.

There are a few, and I do mean just a handful, that are in on my precious secret. They understand the full power of my appointments, my cabinets, my categorized medicine containers. Those who have known, who still know, have been hand selected...each being tested, probed, and tested again so I can know just how safe I am. Safe from judgement, from losing them, from a look of disgust or worse yet...a look of fear.

But I've made the mistake, once or twice, is misjudging a person's character. The result? I've been painted into a corner. I became nothing more, and nothing less, than my guarded secret. Each move I made, each emotion I expressed, each decision, was color washed..."Calm down. Have you taken your meds?" Nothing...NOTHING...spins me into an emotional volcano faster than those 5 words.

I am not a lifetime movie.

I am not Diane Downs.

I am not the sum of my any illness, disorder, dysfunction. A cold. A fever. Migraine. Restless Leg Syndrome.

I am not only "Mercurial, the near-sighted girl." Though I wear glasses and contacts and couldn't drive without them.

I am not only "Mercurial, the divorced woman." Though I have the divorce papers and the stress of dealing day in and out with the father of my son.

Don't all women feel this way? I am not JUST a mother, wife, sister, daughter, girlfriend, employee, and so on. We are more than all of the hats we wear, more than all the labels that we both gladly and glumly accept.

A mother kills her children and the gossip goes as follows: "How could ANY mother do that?" "I would never do such a thing!" "There must've been something really wrong with her!" "I bet she's bi-polar!" "She's probably schizophrenic!" "She probably has postpartum depression and never asked for help!" "No normal mother could ever do such a thing!"

Have you ever sat at a lunch room table at work and listened as this discussion ran round the room? Have you wanted to run? Hide? Have you wondered if your cheeks were burning? Have you felt immense guilt or boiling anger?

I AM ME. The sum of all of my parts. I'm nearsighted. I'm a divorced and remarried mother. I'm a stepmom. I'm a dislocated worker. I'm a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a child of divorced parents. I'm a woman who devours books (52 so far this year) but fears helping her son with his math homework (all those numbers! Ack!).

I take advil for my headaches. Antibiotics at least twice a year for recurring bouts of strep throat. A multi-vitamin because my natural inclination is to eat nothing but carbs and dairy (I could live on cereal, ice cream, and macaroni and cheese).

And yesterday? For the first time in my driving life (hmm, nearly 20 years), I was pulled over and given a ticket. I burst into tears. I explained that I had to replace the fuel pump filter so I could pass DEQ and renew my month old tags. And I sobbed, until my eyes were puffy, all the way home. I don't like doing things WRONG. I hate making mistakes.

Do you feel that you know me a little better? How will it shape your view when my secret comes pouring out?

I have:

bi-polar disorder.
panic disorder.
chronic anxiety.
attention deficit disorder.
post-traumatic-stress-disorder.

I have nearly driven off a cliff side. I have thrown myself down flights of stairs. I have spent every dime I could get my hands on and believe it was the best idea ever.

And I have lived. Survived. Tried...and then tried harder...and still more. Because I AM more than my mistakes, more than my successes, more than my past and more than my present.

Because I become MORE every.single.day.

Linking this up with Shell at Things I Can't Say to say, Yes, I can say it!

The Definition of Mercurial

2012-01-01T18:00:00.000-08:00

Mercurial has several definitions...

The Merriam Webster dictionary says, :

Planet Mercury

1 : of, relating to, or born under the planet Mercury

: having qualities of eloquence, ingenuity, or thievishness attributed to the god Mercury or to the influence of the planet Mercury

: characterized by rapid and unpredictable changeableness of mood mercurial temper>

: of, relating to, containing, or caused by mercury

It's not #1.

No, I wasn't born on Mercury, although it could explain why I'm always extremely hot or extremely cold. Maybe I am from Mercury! Regardless, you may envision me sitting on the planets surface, weighing considerably less than I do now (that's my favorite part), laptop in lap, cooling drink to my left, ruling the planet... No? Well then...it's not #2.

And I think we can rule out #4.

Moving on...

Why Mercurial, then? #3 is your answer...or mine.

Synonyms: capricious, changeable, changeful, flickery,fluctuating,fluid, inconsistent, inconstant, fickle, mutable, skittish, temperamental,uncertain, unpredictable, unsettled, unstable, unsteady, variable, volatile.

And in those synonyms of Mercurial, you find me...mother, wife, friend, blogger.

Mercurial Says Goodbye To Blogspot

2011-12-30T19:00:00.000-08:00

Joining up with Amanda at Serenity Now! for a little weekend bloggy reading, by sharing my favorite blog post of the week. I think I'll use this chance to also ask for a little help...

I said goodbye to my blogspot address, and hello to my own domain, so Mercurial Nature can have it's own little spot in the world. Since the change my blog is feeling a little empty...dropping stats and less comment love. You'd think the world had ended if you new how I've ~~sobbed like a baby~~ lamented over this. You all could make one bloggers new year 100 times brighter if you could drop me a line or two and let me know if everything is looking okay to you ~~and promising your eternal love~~.

And my favorite post of the week? My wordless Wednesday, saying Goodbye To Christmas!

A Final, 2011, Mercurial Review

2011-12-29T15:22:00.000-08:00

Our year is wrapping up, as I've reviewed Mercurial's Jan, Feb, and March, April, May, and June, and July, Aug, and Sept on each Friday of this month. As we take down the old calendars and put up the new, I'll review the last quarter of my blog with a few memories, posts, and pictures from October, November, and December.

October - I got a little insightful with a look into My Ordinary Life, and jumped quickly into a vomiting rant, care of FUF, I Waited 19 Years For This!?.

Boot Socks

I also did a little crafting that didn't end up
looking like a 3 year old had done it...
Of course I had to show off my skillz.
Boot Socks

November - Through the power of Netflix, I watched "Sleeping With the Enemy" ...perhaps more than once. It then provoked this post about Sleeping With Mercurial.
Oddly, that post was followed (not much later), by a post about When The Ex-Remarries. It may have included talk of hit men.

And when I Fixed My Dishwasher, you bet your ass I blogged about it. Do you think I wrote an update to the post when my dishwasher broke again a few days later? NO! I was going out a HERO!

Don't They Look Happy?

December - Wait, isn't it still December? Well...something memorable must've happened, besides Christmas...right?

Well, I did plan out our Hap-Hap-Happiest Christmas, and used Pinterest to once again try a new recipe, discovering that Steak Is Harder To Cut Than Tofu.

As we are starting a New Year, this blog is making a new start (though it's thrown my into a complete tizzy). Ever Mercurial, changes are always happening, and so for My Mercurial Nature the blogspot has been dropped and it has become: www.mercurialnature.com

If you have my button up or link up somewhere, could you update it?

When My Stepson Came Home...

2011-12-28T17:30:00.000-08:00

Who is the puppet master?

He had been gone for 5 month. For reasons we all describe differently:

"His Mom made him do it!"

"He's a teenager!"

"He's learned to be a selfish twit!"

"He hates his Dad!"

"His Dad doesn't understand him."

Stepmom Steps Back

The truth is...none of us know the truth.

It's locked up in the mind of a teenager.

And when I, stepmom, was told that the boy who has spent the last 5 months refusing to "visit" (yelling at his Dad, lying through his braces, and giving me reason to drop the rope and do the stepmom stepback) emailed and said he'd "allow" his Dad to pick him up on Christmas day, I almost did the stepmom stepintocaranddriveawayquickly move.

I panicked. Like Ebeneezer Scrooge, I paid a visit to the past, the present (the last 5 months without step drama), and the future. Like Scrooge, I was presented with the worst possible outcome. We must both be half glass empty people...before we start throwing our shillings around.

The difference is clear...Scrooge became more involved while I had to ~~drink a lot~~ remind myself that these new developments don't equal picking up the rope or stepping back in.

Just in time came this post The Best Gift a Step Parent Can Give Their Step Children, and I weathered the return of my stepson.

UPDATE:

I wrote this post Tuesday morning. By Wednesday morning my stepson was gone. In a whirlwind of conversatons (stepson said he wanted to stay for his regular parenting time, which would be until Jan 2nd), phone calls to biomom, more conversations (stepson suddenly says he wants to go back to mom's), and more phone calls...I woke up and he was walking out the door. A brief "bye" to his Dad and siblings.

And my husband? He took a nap after we talked, after he cried, after I cried with him.

Goodbye Christmas...

2011-12-27T17:54:00.000-08:00

See ya again next year!

Mommy & Daughter Christmas Love! And my new glasses..

3D Star image made by my son - with a beautiful poem around.

My Daughter's Handprint/Reindeer Plate...

I love these people!

A boy, and his dog.

Where's My Power Button?

2011-12-25T21:21:00.000-08:00

After weeks leading up to the BIG day, it's suddenly impossible to shut off.

Our Christmas this year has been busy...shuffling children & stepchildren around, coordinating dinners and desserts between family who came into town and family IN town, keeping this house in presentable guest shape without disallowing the kids to play or eat or breathe.

We did a lot of last minute shopping in the crowds, last minute Christmas wrapping, followed by more trips to the store for extra ribbon and tape.

And once all was said and done I crawled about the living room floors, searching for the bits of Christmas papers, tape, tags, and tissues that were torn, ripped, and strewn from one end to the other.

I am tired. My mind is racing, my memories crawling with the happy faces of my children, the smiles of delight when I opened my paper wrapped gift from preschool to find handprint reindeer and glittered 5th grade enevelope containing tissue paper trees and a poem that made me cry.

Week Three of 2011 In Review!

2011-12-21T20:39:00.000-08:00

So far I've reviewed January, February, and March and April, May, and June ...which means today we delve into what Mercurial Nature was up to during July, August, and September!

July - Starts off where I finished up with June...meaning I didn't blog at all!

My Drama Queen

My Daughter turned 4!

She turned up the drama...

Drank her first soda...

Started preschool...

Reaches the bathroom sink without a step stool...

And can't wait for her next birthday.

"Stop taking my picture, Mom!"

August - Our Step Family was dealt another craptastic card in the life of dealing with the "others" and I had some stellar thoughts about eggs and crack cocaine.

September - I worked on the stepmom's version of stepping back, which includes a lot of great dance moves until you get dizzy and vomit. Meanwhile, school started and football was in full swing...until my son's arm was broken during his second game!

Happy Friday to all my readers, new & old! We'll all be busy with our holiday plans this weekend...so I wish each of you a Happy and Peaceful Holiday.

Wordless Wednesday With Sprinkles And Crack

2011-12-20T20:39:00.000-08:00

It's Wednesday. Four days until Christmas, at which point I hang up the apron and tie up the running shoes.

Sugar Cookies

3 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup shortening (not butter!)
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 cup sour cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

In a medium bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking sodaand salt. In a smaller bowl beat the shortening and sugar together on medium-high speed untilsoft and fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time, mixing well after eachaddition. Add the sour cream and vanillaand blend together until creamy.

Add in the dryingredients mixing justuntil incorporated. The dough is verysticky, so chill (covered in plastic wrap) for 1+ hours.

Roll to ¼” and cut out using well-floured cutters!Bake at 350 for 8-10 minutes.

Rocky Road Fudge...

or Crack Fudge...

or Hold me back from the fudge!

1 bag of chocolate chips
1 cup of butterscotch chips
1 cup of crunchy peanut butter
1 tbs of (softened) butter
1 10.5 oz bag of mini marshmallows

Grease a metal baking pan and line with plastic wrap.

In a large sauce pan over medium heat, melt the chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, peanut butter and butter, stirring constantly.

When the chocolate is melted, stir in the marshmallows a handful at a time. Eyeball it for the correct amount...I think I used 3/4 of the bag.

Spread the mixture evenly into your lined 9x13 (or 9x9) if you want it to be thicker) pan, cover with plastic wrap, and chill in the fridge for 3+ hours.

Remove, cut into squares, and enjoy. That is...just TRY to stop eating it. I dare you.

The Snitch On The Shelf

2011-12-20T04:00:00.000-08:00

Some people (my Mother) think this entire Elf On the Shelf business is crazy, menacing, and entirely creepy.

Of course some people (my Mother) think the entire Santa thing is creepy. ("No honey, Santa is just a big, fat, man, dressed up and lying to little children")

I get it...Old obese guy watching you while you're sleeping. Sure, that could be disturbing. I tell her she needs to let the Christmas magic into her grinchy heart.

The Elf, however, ...well she (ours is, according to Daughter, a "she") is just a kindly snitch. And every mother of a 4yr old drama queen can use the help of Santa's little gestapo. Right?

Ominous? Perhaps...

But she's not snitching on me, so I'm okay with it.

Our Snitch Elf, Otherwise known as "Starla"

Co-Parenting Right At Christmas?

2011-12-19T04:00:00.000-08:00

One boy, one (long) list of Christmas gift wishes, two homes with extended family who want to fulfill the boys Christmas Wish List. How do you manage this without the boy finding himself with two of everything? How do you co-parent during the holidays?

Sure, this comes up in single family homes as well. Paternal Grandma buys the game system, Maternal Grandma buys the game system, and now someone has to give. This is approximately 5.2 million times easier when it's possible for all people involved to speak with one another without a court order, or the death march playing in the background.

My husband and his ex don't co-parent. They each do their own thing and stepson, in the past, has received duplicates, and a lot of one-upping. If Dad is getting the Wii system, Mom is getting the Wii system plus 5 games, 6 controllers, and a trip to Disney World.

This year we don't know if stepson will come for Christmas at all. This stepmom has stepped back and has to admit that as of now, she doesn't much care...with the exception of how much her husband is hurting.

My ex and myself co-parent to the extreme. It's probably excessive, but the goal has been and continues to be that parenting as a unit continues...despite the entry of spousal units. Co-parenting during Christmas means furtive phone calls, "Were you planning on getting son a -fill in the blank-? No, okay look, I'll get the -fill in the blank-, maybe you should get the -other fill in the blank-!"

This year has felt like a test, as grandparents (who like to spoil the boy) are wanting to buy him bigger and better gadgets. The ex and I have both stopped at one point or another and said, "Um hey, even *I* don't have an IPad yet...I think you're going overboard."

Momentarily I thought our co-parenting cooperation was breaking down, between my earnest feelings that the boy doesn't need a phone with a data package and my ex's wish to allow his Mother to buy mars for the boy, should she feel it necessary. And this is where the parenting as a unit came in handy, as we were able to sit down and explain our feelings about the gift and then Ex was able to speak to his Mom and tell her that we were both uncomfortable and she respected our wishes as a parental unit, and chose a gift we could all get behind.

The holidays can be (can? they are! so stressful that each night I put the children to bed a little earlier and pray to Santa that they'll get up a little later) stressful. Set yourself up to co-parent right from the very start and your blended family issues may be a little more tolerable during holidays!

I'm Just Glad It's Not Me on BuzzLOL

2011-12-16T11:28:00.000-08:00

I don't know how you spend your face time on the internet (I'm lying. I do know. Because I'm stalking you. Yes...You.) but I spend my ~~non-stalking time~~ flitting from my blog reader, to pinterest, to facebook ~~where you should go follow me because it's always good to get to know your stalker~~, to twitter. Flitting may not be the right word, because I'm really doing all of them at the same time...which means I've got at least 4 tabs open at once and I'm merrily clicking through them.

Every once in a while I've got youtube going in a 5th tab, a 6th tab open for email, and a 7th tab open for google because I'm image searching for something completely random. Tab #7 is a gold mine when it sends you to sites like BuzzLOL!

I nearly pee'd my pants (I've given birth to two children and I've never been good at kegels...don't judge me) when I found the Autocorrect Fails! And then you're sucked in and gaping at the Photoshop Fails and girls puckering up like a duckface.

After awhile you're feeling pretty good about yourself because, hey, at least YOU aren't on BuzzLOL (yet).

Week Two 2011 In Review

2011-12-15T18:05:00.000-08:00

Last week I joined up for week one of 2011 In Review, taking a look back at January, February, and March.

Here's a look back for week two...

April: I had only one post "Life Is So Short", because the month started out with desperate sadness and continued that way. Maybe I'm not quite over it, because re-reading my own words has me sitting here, crying, hurting...wishing things had been different.

May: Interestingly, also had only one blog post, "Blogging From The Patio"...but thankfully with a better, if not long-winded, tone.

June: We went from one post, to no posts, in June....and as I've said many times before, my brain is a sieve.

Here's a look back in pictures:

The boy played baseball...

The girl and I took pictures in the sun...

The birds visited our yard...

And I camera stalked them while they ate...

Chocolate, Chocolate, Peanut Butter Cookies

2011-12-15T04:00:00.000-08:00

I've been finding some mouth watering recipes on Pinterest lately, including a few cookie recipes that I cannot wait to try. Yesterday, however, I decided not to try a Pinterest cookie, but instead to try a cookie recipe that blogger Emilisq posted. I saw it first here: Now Christmas Can Come and she was kind enough to email me the link to the recipe, which you can find here: Chocolate and Mint are Made for each other.

My lifelong goal (because I have my priorities in the right place, obviously) is to find the mint chips...because I'm telling you, my 4 year old and I scoured the shelves, end caps, and candy aisles and couldn't find a pretty green mint chip anywhere.

That said, I wasn't about to give up...because if Chocolate and Mint are made for each other, Chocolate and Peanut Butter are conjoined twins!

So, with a slight variation, we made Chocolate, Chocolate, Peanut Butter cookies! (1 cup of milk chocolate chips, 1 cup of peanut butter chips, otherwise the recipe remains exactly the same)

A delicious chocolate, chocolate, peanut butter cookie!

1cbutter
1 1/2c sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
2c flour
2/3c cocoa
3/4 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1c milk choc chips, 1/2c white chocchips, 1/2c mint choc chips

(Orif you cannot find the mint, try 1 cup of milk chocolate chips and 1 cup ofpeanut butter chips)

cream butter,sugar, and eggs. add vanilla. slowly stir in cocoa. add flower, baking soda,& salt. add choc, white, & mint chips. (or chocolate & peanut butter)
bake at 350 for 10 min.

Blast Your Way To $100 Amazon Code

2011-12-14T17:36:00.000-08:00

Could there be a better time for a $100 gift card to Amazon!?!

Okay...I'd take the gift card ANY TIME...because really...$100 bucks? To the place that has everything? Um, Yes, please, thankyouverymuch!

And it's as easy as entering below...so what are you waiting for?

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Happy Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-13T18:24:00.000-08:00

I love Wordless Wednesday(s)!

Know why?

Because in a picture (or two), I get the chance to highlight some of those things that I feel are important enough to snap pictures of! Thanks to Amy AKA Marvelous Mommy, I'm playing along for yet another week.

Daughter & Santa

At our annual fire department Christmas dinner (a great chance to prattle away with the wives), "Santa" came to give the little ones a gift or two. Last year my Daughter cried, sobbed, and otherwise avoided the big guy...this year she took another road, the "if I sit here, don't say anything, and don't look at him, I'll get my gift and the big guy won't kill me". This is, btw, the first and ONLY picture I've gotten of her with Santa!

A snowy mocha...not skinny, not light, and full of the yum!

Are you a Human Bean? You may not even have one where you are...but if you do, GO! I love them better than Dutch Bros. or Starbucks or life itself...or something like that.

Happy Wordless Wednesday!

Special Edition to my Wordless Wednesday...a Picnesday (weird word, eh?):

Daughter sticks her mouth closed with stickers!

Funniest Blogger In All The Land

2011-12-13T04:30:00.000-08:00

I'd like to thank all the ~~stupid~~ little people who have made it so easy to ~~make fun of~~ let my

obviously superior humour out.

I hope my moment in the sun lasts awhile...

(thanks to Leigh vs. Laundry for giving me reason to shout "AHA! I *AM* a winner!" this morning)

I return to college in 27 days (after a, oh, 10+ year break). I was finding myself. I think I found several selves and it's apparent that while they might be funny, they're not smarter than a 5th grader (if my son asks for help with fractions one.more.time I'm going to to spontaneously combust).

My Mercurial Nature (that's me) has undergone a few changes. I'm still waiting for Santa to bring me some perky boobs and a house with more than one bathroom...but MEANWHILE, the blog has a simpler look and has joined the Facebook realm.

Now that you know how ~~superior~~ er ~~hilarious~~ um willing to humiliate myself I am, I know you'll click that little link and like me ~~and hug me and squeeze me and love me and call me George~~.

Twitter Blast & an Amazon Card! Cha-Ching!

2011-12-12T08:00:00.000-08:00

Come Join the Twitter Blast

What is a Twitter Blast? You the blogger can join for free with one account – Twitter. Then we will provide the prize-$100 Amazon card. Amee from Madame Deals and Jen from all her blogs (Kobiso, Makobi Scribe, Sason and Pobi, etc) are the sponsors!!

What do you need to do to join?

Post about the event with the button linking back to this post. (Right click to save the image)
You can post on every blog you have, one post per twitter account.
Sign-ups close December 14th
Giveaway runs from December 15th-January 1st

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Where Is Home?

2011-12-12T04:00:00.000-08:00

My son has two homes. It's not an opinion or up for debate. No one questions the truth in the statement, because he splits his time between Mom's house and Dad's house, with neither having more or less of a monopoly on his time, his belongings, or his heart.

My stepson has a place he knows as home, and place that if truth were told (and you know I will), is a home he visits. One is his home...the other his Dad's home. For years I tried to overcome this barrier by doubling my efforts to maximize the feeling of home being here, too, for the boy. Like my son, and (ours) daughter, stepson has gadgets, toys, wardrobe, room, and so forth.

Despite all attempts, stepson's heart has never claimed this house as his home. Nothing makes that more obvious than his absence (which is the reason I'm vomiting this all over the blog). The boy, now a willful teenager ~~who must make his mother very proud~~ teenager, hasn't been "home" (and I use that term for my own meanings) since the middle of August. He refuses to "visit". And his room stands empty.

So if you can't beat them...join them, I say. I may have tried to shake off the dust of evil stepmom's everywhere to be the friendly, accepting, helpful stepmom. But in light of the current events, this stepmom has decided to join the ranks of all stepmothers everywhere...

I'm going to wear my hair in a huge poof, get old and ugly, make poisonous apples, and order hunters to bring back the hearts of my victims.

It's A Misdemeanor

2011-12-11T09:34:00.001-08:00

26) Are you happy with the person you've become? Every time I play along with this Class C Misdemeanor game I wonder...is this a test?

27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? Sounds, in general, are obnoxious. Let me count the ways: Chewing, slurping, clearing your throat, tapping your foot, when the dog won't stop licking its' ass, and so on. I do, however, love the sound of silence. Not to be confused with Simon and Garfunkel.

28) What's your biggest "what if"? Best.game.EVER! What if you were locked in a closet of angry bees, naked, and the only way out was to pledge your eternal love to ...say... your Mother In Law?

29) Do you believe in ghosts? No. Yes. Maybe.

30) How about aliens? Like Klingons? And Vulcans? Live long and prosper.

31) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Playing this game. Really. Because it has made life worthwhile. What did I do without it? Oh...that's right...Zuma.

32) What's the worst place you have ever been to? A room full of chewing people.

33) Can insanity bring on more creativity? Is this question just for me, or what? And what if I'm too insane to answer, what then?

34) Most attractive actor of your opposite gender? Blah blah blah...I don't do actor, actress things.

35) To you, what is the meaning of life? Playing this game.

36) Define “Art”. Playing this game.

37) Do you believe in luck? Do you feel lucky? Huh? Do ya?

38) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Good relationship=Reading my blog. Bad relationship=Not reading my blog.

39) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? This is like the actor question. I don't do songs or actors. (well, I'd DO them...but...this is taking an odd turn)

40) Where were you yesterday? Why, are you stalking me? I loooooove stalkers! (the nice ones)

41) What's the worst injury you've ever had? I bashed myself in the head with the cupboard door the other door. It was awful...for a couple minutes. Then it was pretty funny.

42) Do you have any obsessions right now? I'm feeling fairly obsessed with getting to #50

43) What's up? The sky. The clouds. How you doin'? (said in my best Joey voice)

44) Ever had a rumor spread about you? You mean you haven't heard it yet?? Where have you BEEN?

45) Do you believe in real magic? Like Santa? And the Elf on the Shelf? Of course! DUH!

46) Do you ever hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? You're about to find out...

47) What's your favorite (non-pet) animal? If the next question is about My Little Pony, I'm going to start wondering if I should start this grudge thing now...

48) What is your secret weapon to get people to like you? The Vulcan neck pinch.

49) Where is your best friend? In my phone! That's where I keep her.

50) What do you think is Satan's last name? Don't you figure he's like Cher? or Madonna?

What Did I Do? 2011 In Review...

2011-12-09T18:44:00.000-08:00

Hangin' out with a bunch of super hostesses with the mostesses for 2011 Review EXTRAVAGANZA! ~breakin' out the jazz hands~ for the first round of reviews, which means cramming together a post about Jan, Feb, and March of 2011 (in review).

I, however, have no need to CRAM...because I can hardly remember what happened yesterday, much less 10, 11, 12 months ago.

Looking back in the blog will show that apparently I ~~had a life back then~~ didn't take time to blog much, which isn't really helping with the memory issues.

Lucky for you (just smile and nod), I did manage a little update in February with the post: A Wonderful Day, though I look back at it now and think...if only I knew!

And to prove that my memory sucks all the time, there's this post in March: What Just Happened?

Lets wrap it up with this post in which I dreamed of, but didn't follow through with, Baking My Friend's Bird.

So many things have changed since those early months in 2011...some changes that have been difficult to swallow, some changes that have brought us really wonderful rewards.

The Parenting After Divorce Monster

2011-12-08T10:42:00.001-08:00

Oh the joys of a world where parenting after divorce is almost sure to make you seriously consider the expense of a hitman, or run screaming as though your ass is on fire from the cute, sweet, lovable guy you just found out has a kid...from a previous marriage...and she's still alive.

Me? I live for risk-taking. I look divorced parenting stress in the eye and say, "Bring it on, bitch!" and then I curl up in the fetal position and hope that my carpet camo helps me disappear. Because I'm that tough...

I think this is how I wound up as a co-parenting, blended family, step-parenting, Mom ~~on xanax~~.

Memories Captured

2011-12-08T09:24:00.001-08:00

I've enjoyed the other "Memories Captured" posts I've seen so much that I felt I just had to play along! My thanks to Alison of Mama Wants This and Galit Breen of These Little Waves for hosting!

Paranoid Hummingbirds

2011-12-07T09:32:00.001-08:00

Mentioned in my Wordless Wednesday post, as well as on Twitter, I have paranoid hummingbirds. And just for YOU (oh yes, you...uh huh...no no, don't mention it), I froze my ass off (I wish) to get these pictures:

Poor little guy just wants a drink, so he swoops in and out, looking over his shoulder as if waiting for the hummingbird hitman to swoop in at any second...

And then he seems to spot him...so I swung the camera around. Tell me the little hummingbird isn't a mob spy?

We've definitely got a territorial drug-turf hummingbird battle on our hands. I must make some damn good sugar water...

UPDATE: Mob boss hummingbird? He seems awfully calm...

A Little Christmas Love - Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-07T08:43:00.001-08:00

I was hoping to get a shot of my paranoid hummingbirds (you don't know about my paranoid hummingbirds? Obviously you're not following my ~~completely random~~ scintillating tweets on Twitter) , but you'll have to settle for my 4 year old.

Psst...Because I'm obsessive, I managed to snap some hummingbird shots: Paranoid Hummingbirds A La Mercurial

Steak Is Harder To Cut Than Tofu

2011-12-06T07:36:00.001-08:00

Lessons learned yesterday ~

1. Steak is harder to cut than Tofu.

2. Staring at the raw steak and wishing you were wearing a biohazard suit while cutting it will NOT actually get the job done.

3. I'm a rockin' wife for buying, cutting, preparing, and cooking the aforementioned red meat given that I've never purchased, cut, cooked, or EATEN it before (and no, I didn't eat this either).

4. Doing all of the above saps your brain cells, therefore it is exceptionally more important than ever to watch out for cupboard doors.

5. The above means this: Remove your head FROM the cupboard area BEFORE slamming the cupboard door shut. On your head. Resulting in a large bump and two insightly scrapes on your head.

Looks like dog food to me...but the hubs not only nearly fainted in surprise, looked at me as if I was on my deathbed and said, "You made this?", and actually liked it!

Btw, the dogs liked it, too. The kids tolerated it. I waited 'til the kids were in bed and ate popcorn for dinner.

And...No one is dead from eating it (even if I nearly knocked myself unconscious from cooking it)! Ta Da!

Juggling The Holidays

2011-12-05T09:10:00.001-08:00

How many balls do you have up in the air on a routine basis and then BAM, the holidays hit and you're being thrown extra balls and trying to keep them all in the air. Does it feel that way?

Do you have extra family worries during the holidays? I always feel that in addition to everything else I'm trying to keep going, the addition of juggling schedules between households (for my son and his Dad, plus my stepson and his family) is enough to crush me under a pile of juggling balls.

And then family says they're coming over the holidays...so you juggle the in-laws or other family with the children and their schedules and whether your household can possibly hold all these people. If you're lucky, half of these people hate the other half and you can also enjoy the possibility of world war 3 breaking out just as Santa shoves his ass down your falling apart chimney.

Meanwhile you've got school starting in 35 days and might spontaneously combust at the mere thought.

So...Happy Monday, my bloggy friends.

Let's Get Social

2011-12-04T12:51:00.001-08:00

Perfect day to get social! I tweeted my 1,000th tweet and my fingers are doing all the talking today (consequence of losing my voice).

Hap-Hap-Happiest Christmas

2011-12-02T08:01:00.001-08:00

We are all Christmas all the time around here lately.

This is NOT normal for our family, but in the immortal words of Clark Griswold, "I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!"

We have so many little things around here that are falling apart, breaking down, or are on the verge of blowing up that I sometimes wonder if it wouldn't be better if the entire house was swept away in a flood...or tornado.

I'm returning to college in exactly 38 days. I'm fairly certain I may vomit on myself as this gets closer.

Scared? Me? Hells ya!

My husband has yet another (I've lost count) interview next week. Each time I cross my fingers. A smidgen of my brain rally's a cheer, "This is it! This is gonna be THE ONE!"...I might try to smother that voice with a pillow, because it's starting to bum me out.

And to circle around to the beginning...all of the above is why I've decided to focus all my attention on Christmas this year. Because if I don't focus on SOMETHING, I'll end up selling off my house, all my belongings, renaming our dogs "Snots", and living in an RV.

"We're gonna have the hap hap happiest christmas since Bing Crosby tapdanced with Danny fucking Kaye."

Klout And Pinterst

2011-12-01T17:02:00.000-08:00

I've discovered a new love and a new curiosity. In my book curiosity nearly equals love, or surpasses it, because what could be better than a curiosity? I suppose it's a good thing I'm not a cat.

Lets start with the love, shall we? Pinterest! Be still my heart!

Hold up...when you talk about the site (out loud, or in your head...and yes, I know you're all talking to yourselves in your head. Right?) do you say, "Pinterest" (one complete word Pin-ter-est) or "Pin Interest"? Or something else?

Seriously, you have to answer the question...I've gotta know.

Now, I know that most of you have been on Pinterest (Pinterest? Pin Interest? That Pinning Place?) wayyyy longer than I have (look, I have a hard time accepting new things...like FB, and Twitter, and blogging, and...Uggs), and so I haven't have a chance to Pin much, but what a time suck this is! I start pinning and looking and pinning and looking and not pinning because that's a stupid idea and then pinning this and thinking, "She has ALL the good pins" and before I know it ~~my kids are dragging their poor, emaciated bodies across the floor begging for dinner~~ time has flown by.

Okay, on to the curiosity...Klout. What is Klout? Okay, better question, WHY is Klout?

I discovered Klout just recently...I think it was via Twitter and people who DO know what Klout is, or why it is, and whether it's just there to torment me. Like any good mystery, I've been slowly plodding my way through, try to figure out why it matters how much influence I have and what the analysis of my score means and digging those silly line graphs. Because really, who doesn't think a line graph is cool? Anyone?

Oddly enough, it appears that I'm influential with regards to laptop computers. I have no idea why this is, although I admit that my own laptop is my lifeline to the universe (what? okay...I love it!):

And my newest baby:

The hubs bought me a hot pink Logitech wireless mouse. Oh sure, it's probably because he wants the desktop all to himself, but who cares? I'd "Pin" my own photo of my sweet little mousie, but that's just weird...right? I'm set for hours and hours and hours of mind-numbing pinning and internet surfing via my influential laptop and hot pink mouse.

No Need For Words

2011-11-30T10:39:00.001-08:00

Because the new car really says it all...

I'm Like A Postal Employee

2011-11-29T09:48:00.001-08:00

It's been quiet around here lately, have you noticed? (just say yes) Holidays and crazy brain have taken hold and it's a struggle to break through and blog. Ah, but I haven't given up! Nothing, not rain, nor, sleet, nor feeling like shit can keep me down!

I sound peppy, right? (it's okay, make the "you sound nuts" face)

I think I'm dying. I've got a cold...my head feels like it's going to explode from the inside out and it's not going to be pretty. That said...it might feel good.

Those of you who are semi-new to my blog have probably never seen our family ferret. Yes, I said ferret. See:

Did you read my post yesterday about Hoarding vs. Purging? Well, right about now I'd like to purge the above. Yes, I know I'm a bad person...but she stinks. YES, I knew she'd stink before we got her...but I'm so over it now. It's okay, you can hate me. sigh.

My husband has decided to stop eating dairy. Well excuse me, hubby, but this family LIVES on dairy. Cheese, sour cream, yogurt, cereal, ...erm...all the other stuff with dairy. When daughter was younger she was very dairy sensitive and we removed all lactose from the house. It was like living in hell. HELL I tell you. A couple years later and she's able to tolerate most dairy, and thus the reemergence of our beloved mac and CHEEEEEEESE! And if husband doesn't want to eat dairy...well...he's going to have to starve. Or I'll purge him with the ferret. Erm...

Hoarding vs. Purging

2011-11-28T08:59:00.001-08:00

Some people are hoarders.

My husband, for example, feels the need to keep everything. The man has his selective service card...the original one. Please believe me, it's REALLY OLD. And our garage? Well, I pretend it's not there. Sometimes I open the door and I feel like all the tools, appliances, boxes of who-the-hell-knows-what are going to come to life and suck me in.

I think he gets this from his parents who may or may not have every working and broken appliance that they've ever owned during their 40 years of marriage. I wonder sometimes...if I walk into their home, will I ever be able to get out alive?

On the other hand, some people are purgers.

That would be me. Have I used this item in...oh...the last couple of weeks? No? Out it goes. Sometimes things just get in the way, or it's a winter item and it's currently summer and seems as though it could never be cold again...so you toss the winter item.

I admit, this has caused a few problems for me. Items that have been tossed when I felt another purge coming on: Car registration (oops), medical records (sometimes you really need those), travel mugs...and so on.

Currently I'm in one of those antsy, get-rid-of-everything-I'm-not-currently-using moods. This may or may not include the children, the husband, and most definitely the ANIMALS.

Okay bloggy friends, with the holidays coming up...will you be saving everything, right down the bows? Or tossing the old to make room for the new (and maybe tossing some of that, too)?

Creative Thievery

2011-11-27T11:15:00.001-08:00

1. Why did you sign up for writing your blog? Uhhmmm...Cuz I had stuff to say? Things run around in my brain; words, thoughts, opinions, fears, absolutely insane musings; I have to have an outlet (that doesn't make my family duct tape my mouth and put me in a closet).

2. Why did you choose your blog's name? What does it mean? Mercurial is what I am, and I've been surprised at the number of people who haven't heard this word and/or do not know the definition. I've even had blog readers who have looked up the definition. It can be found in my About Me tab!

3. Do you ever had another blog? I'm holding myself back from correcting the grammar in this sentence/question. No, I have never had another blog. I've considered it because I told a few people about it that I wish didn't know it was here and belonged to me...but I'm not about to undo all this bizarre, hard, work.

4. What do you do online when you're not on your blog? Other useless, time sucking, things. These include, but are not limited to: Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Googling possible ailments, and playing Words With Friends.

5. How about when you're not on the computer? You mean I'm supposed to spend time away from the computer? What about the iphone? Hmmph...that's just crazy talk.

6. What do you wish people who read your blog knew about you? A lot more and a lot less.

7. What is your favorite community in the blogosphere? Band Back Together

8. What is your philosophy on your blog layout? If I look at it and it doesn't piss me off, it works.

9. Tell me about your picture you use to represent you on your blog. I frequently consider switching the picture I use, however both choices speak to me and I find that I'm not strongly inclined to make the switch to my other choice. As it stands now I feel that my choice fits who I am...unprepared, waiting for the rain, my soul bared.

10. Pick 3 random blogs from your blogroll and tell us about them. Umm...I don't really feel like it right now. I keep a small blog roll on my blog and change them around fairly often at the whim of whatever I'm truly enjoying. They wouldn't be there if I didn't find them entertaining!

11. What features do you think your blog should have that it doesn't currently? I'd love a professional update to my layout, background, etc. Basically my blog requires money. So do I. I haven't found the money tree yet, however. :-/

12. What do you consider the 10 most "telling" interests that we would infer from what you blog persona? My title ought to tell it all...I'm erratic and complicated. I want to be entertained, I want to be entertaining, I want to make connections and have others feel connected to me.

13. Do you have any unique interests that you have never shared before? What are they? Unique interests? Erm. Uh.

14. The best thing about blogging is all of the friends that you make, Beside from those folks, do you think your blog has fans? Nah...I don't have an extensive following. I'm too erratic.

15. What's your current obsession? What about it captures your imagination? My new car. The fact that it starts.

16. What are you glad you did but haven't really had a chance to post about? I remembered to take my meds this morning. Hey look, I just posted about it!

17. How many people that first became a blog friend, have you met face to face? Zip.

18. What don't you talk about here, either because it's too personal or because you don't have the energy? If I told you it wouldn't be a secret anymore.

19. What's a question that you'd love to answer? ...

20. Have you ever lost a blogging friendship and regretted it? Erm...noooooo

21. Have you ever lost a blogging friendship and thought, “Was that overdue!” Noooo

Ooof, These questions pushed my patience level...

Six Word Saturday

2011-11-26T11:09:00.001-08:00

Got A New To Me Car!

And after everything I've been through with my van (like the fact that it wouldn't start on the way to the dealership), the biggest reward is turning the key and having it start!

Jealous Of The Other Parent

2011-11-21T09:51:00.001-08:00

Another Co-Parenting, Step-Parenting, Blended family post...and beware, I may ramble (no! me? ramble? Puh-lease!)...

Are you ever jealous of the other parent? It's a feeling that I'm ashamed to admit that I succumb to now and then, and often times for completely opposite reasons.

I'm jealous this week of my son's father. Because we do not have a formal parenting plan and make it up as we go (so to speak), this week happens to belong to him. The result? He gets an entire week of full-day parenting time. I'm jealous. I want to rant and rave..."It's not FAIR! I want Thanksgiving week! Gimme, gimme, gimme!"

I'm jealous of my son's stepmother. By marriage she also has the opportunity to spend this week of no school with my son. I admit, it's not just jealousy. It's hate. Seething hostility.

I'm jealous of my stepson's mother. This one nearly has me hiding under the table in shame. She's never been anything but cruel and divisive, and I must admit that I sometimes wish I could be a little more like her. She doesn't just think "Gimme, gimme, gimme!" She acts upon it. She takes it. She feels no guilt, offers no apology.

Ah, but I continue on...remind myself to do what is best for the children, not what softens the blow to my emotions or allows me to lash out myself. The blender blends and I mustn't focus on the chop and crush, but rather on the softness of the stirring.

That's Six

2011-11-19T09:42:00.001-08:00

I need to win the lottery.

Devil In The Dishwasher

2011-11-18T11:33:00.000-08:00

Do you remember my superwoman post about having fixed the dishwasher?

Super Mom

I spent a full 24 hours basking in the glow of my greatness. And like any decent wife rubbed my husband's face in his utter ineptness while I, Mrs. Fix It, had banished the devil from the dishwasher with ~~holy water~~ vinegar and baking soda.

And after my glorious 24hrs were up...I plummeted back to the ground. Cape torn. Ego bruised. A full dishwasher of dirty dishes, basin of smelly water, and the temptation to throw myself on the floor and cry.

So I did. And the husband and children walked past and whispered things like, "Don't talk to mommy, I think she's upset."

The next step? Calling the dishwasher exorcist and screaming from the rooftops:

FAWK YOU, dishwasher devil! FAWWWWWKKKKKK YOUUUUUUU!!!

I Love You, Mama D

2011-11-17T13:44:00.001-08:00

Who is Mama D?

No, really...do you know? I haven't got a clue.

Here's what I know: Mama D has children. Her children are married. And she produced a delicious, simple, 8 ingredient recipe for banana bread that I've been making with my children for nearly 10 years.

Mama D's Banana Bread

(just as I copied it down, from who knows where, so many years ago)

1 3/4 cup flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

3/4 tsp salt

3/4 cup sugar

1 egg, beaten

1 cup bananas, mashed

1/2 cup milk

Sift first five ingredients. Combine egg, bananas and milk. Stir into dry ingredients just until blended. Pour into a buttered loaf pan and bake at 350°F for 50 minutes (time may vary according to oven). Remove from pan and let cool on wire rack.

Note: This is actually my mother-in-law's recipe - and it's a no fail wonder! It's the first and only banana bread I've ever made that turns out every time. Hope you all give it a try.

Nothing fancy...just perfectly, simply, delicious!

I Have The Attention Span of...

2011-11-16T08:27:00.001-08:00

Today I have the attention span of a gnat...

You all have so much to say, and I want to read it, but it starts to look like:

And then I start thinking about:

and:

Smurf for your lives!

Wordless Coffee Wednesday

2011-11-15T18:14:00.001-08:00

Wordless Wednesday is brought to you today by the letter:

Mocha

And the number:

20ounce

Human Bean mocha!

Memory Problems

2011-11-14T02:00:00.000-08:00

I seem to have some memory problems. Examples are as follows:

~ The day I drove halfway to watch my son's football game, realized it was very bright and I needed my sunglasses and drove all the way back home to fetch them. When I walked in the door I suddenly remembered where the sunglasses were...On top of my head. Yes, they had been there the entire time.

~ While yacking away on the phone with my Mother, while wandering the grocery isles, I began to wonder what time it was. So I proceeded to stop my cart, continue yammering at my Mother, and dig in my purse for my phone. Then I felt my jacket pockets. Then I dug in the purse some more. Finally I stated, out loud, to my Mother, "I cannot find my motherfucking phone and I need to know what time it is!" ...Yah, I figured it out then.

~ And those random times when I walk into a room in my house full of purpose, only to stand in the middle of the room and wonder why I went in there to begin with. I know I'm not the only person who does this (under the age of 30...okay, 40!).

Sometimes this causes problems, example:

I take a ~~shitload~~ few medications. I tend to forget these medications, so I take steps to help myself remember. One such step included purchasing these handy-dandy med dispensers:

I leave them next to my bathroom sink, so when I walk in there ~~frequently because my bladder is the size of a pea and I drink a LOT of coffee~~ I'm reminded to take my meds.

And what do I do? I walk right out of that room having forgotten all about that little pill box.

But...drum roll please...I have a solution!

Have you seen Clocky the alarm clock that runs away if you try to hit the snooze button? It's a clever invention, really.

What I need is a Mr. Pillbox! You see, Mr. Pillbox would contain each days set of medications and a timer for when each is due to be taken.

Should you ignore said timer, Mr. Pillbox would do the OPPOSITE of Mr. Clocky...rather than running away from you (urging you to take chase), Mr. Pillbox would chase after you shouting, "I said, TAKE YOUR GODDAMN LOONEY PILLS! GET.BACK.HERE.RIGHT.NOW!" And the handy Mr. Pillox wouldn't stop until you'd opened said pill compartment.

Random Things I Like?

2011-11-13T08:45:00.001-08:00

Playing along with Kate Takes 5 and Listographies this Sunday!

The rules: List the top 5 random things that I like (with an addendum that this cannot be "I like chocolate", but rather something unique/fun/random/different).

1. I like Eloise. I really do. I pause the show if I walk out of the room and my 4yr old says, "You don't have to pause it Mommy, I'm right here." and I say, "Well...just...wait a second." The shame.

2. I like not sharing. I don't feel bad at all that I hide the best ice cream behind the frozen chicken breasts and wait until the kids are in bed to eat it. I like waiting until no one is looking and filching the last cookie and proclaiming, "Yes, it was me! I ate it!" Sometimes not sharing is all a mommy has, especially when she has to share everything else.

3. I like playing old Nintendo games (like Bubble Bobble) with my 10yr old...the same games I played when I was a kid.

4. I like touching my husbands feet, with my feet, in bed. I like this because it makes him freak out. The best time to do this is early in the morning when I'm awake and he isn't...because he whines like the children and it's hysterical!

5. I like being me. This isn't something I feel all the time...but when I really cut away all the bullshit (the medications, the outbursts, the rollercoaster), I cannot imagine the boring life that would be mine if my brain were more typical.

Six Word Saturday

2011-11-12T08:31:00.001-08:00

No more children in my bed!

-or-

Mommy needs some room to breathe!

What are you six words this Saturday?

Come Have An Adventure With Me, Eloise!

2011-11-10T18:21:00.001-08:00

My dishwasher has been broken for nearly two months. My husband has taken the entire thing apart, tinkered with it, flooded my kitchen floors, and put it back together twice in an attempt to fix it.

Note the word "attempt".

After two months of dish pan hands I used a little vinegar, baking soda, boiling water, and my superwoman powers...and voila! A working dishwasher!

I am woman, hear me roar!

I've decided that Eloise has it pretty good, and I'm getting jealous.

She's got that catchy theme song (not that I can be caught singing it to myself long after my 4 year old has gone to bed, because that would be nuts..erm..) and a dog named Weenie.

I have just one question: Where is her Mother? Seriously...does she even have one?

I, non-crafter, made yet another craft (thanks to ~~the addiction of~~ Pinterest):

~ Happy Friday ~

Mommy Can Make Dinner!

2011-11-10T02:00:00.000-08:00

I don't like to cook.

It's pretty simple...cooking is messy (I hate messes), smelly (I hate smelly), and ...umm...gets in the way of blogging, tweeting, or playing Words With Friends.

Last night, however, ~~aliens switched me with Martha Stewart~~ I cooked dinner.

My daughter stared at me, bug-eyed, and said, "Mommy, you know how to cook?!?!"

Whatever, kid! I used to cook all.the.time! I did!

Chicken Crescent Squares

And special thank you to The Plain Chicken for a recipe so simple even a Mercurially Mommy can make it!

What Is It Like To Dream?

2011-11-09T08:29:00.000-08:00

I've been wondering...what is the purpose of dreaming?

Moreover, why can't I dream of the silly things or humdrum things, rather than night after night of thrashing, screaming, crying, nightmares?

hmm...that's all I've got...

Yes, Mercurial is a bit stormy this morning.

Kiss Me

2011-11-08T20:37:00.000-08:00

~ Wordless Wednesday ~

You expected something other than coffee? Pshaw!

I go to sleep each night (only to wake up an hour later and stare at the ceiling for a few hours before I fall asleep again - honestly, it's getting old and I'm tired) anticipating my first cup of coffee the next morning.

I love you coffee...Kiss me!

Talk Back!

2011-11-08T12:44:00.000-08:00

Alright, you asked me to talk to you (what, you didn't really mean it?) ...so here goes.

I can't sleep! I've been awake from 1am until about 4am every night for the last several nights. And my tummy hurts. I don't know what's wrong with me, but it might be the fact that I've eaten nothing but halloween candy, coffee, and popcorn lately. You think?

My 4 year old just had to point out to me that the bite of pear I was about to take had the produce sticker on it. Hey, at least I was eating fruit!

I'm addicted to games on Facebook. I'm not proud of this...but it's true. I spent ~~all my waking hours between 1am and 4am plus pretty much all my other waking hours~~ a decent amount of time trying to figure out how to ~~make my friends cry like babies~~ get a better Words With Friends score. I'm also known to shout expletives at the computer...which may sound a little like this, "What the FUCK!? I don't need another GODDAMN vowel! Are the FUCKING VOWELS trying to take over my life?! SHIT!"

Did you make it this far? Am I the only person who consistently ends up with nothing but 4 U's, a couple I's and an E?! It's like I'm being punished by the vowel gods.

Sending Out Holiday Cards

2011-11-08T09:59:00.000-08:00

www.tinyprints.com

I admit it, I'm a bad Christmas or Holiday card sender. I wait until the last second and then I scramble...and the result? I'm fairly certain (see, I can't even remember!) that I've sent out holiday cards only twice in the last 5 years.

This year I decided to get an early jump on things...I even managed to take a photo of the kids that I like enough to use for the cards. I think that, in itself, deserves some sort of applause...right? Are you applauding?

When I started to poke around at a few websites for cute cards (and I have to admit, I'm fairly particular because my family is quite diverse and I want a card that hits just the right note) I discovered Tiny Prints. I don't know about you, but I'd never heard of them before, so I nosed around a bit.

Can I just say that, for this family, I really appreciate that Tiny Prints created separate categories for Holiday Cards and Christmas Cards! And I had so much fun digging and sorting through their fun design styles.

Like Vintage (I think this is quite possibly the best, card, ever!):

And Whimsy(this one makes me want to send two cards! one set for the people and another for the pups! I might have to do it):

And Preppy (definitely not my style, but I can think of quite a few who would luuuuurve these):

To tell you the truth, I haven't made my final decision yet...but I will be, soon, and I will definitely have Tiny Prints to thank for that! Soooo watch out, the Mercurials are sending out cards this year! Yippee!

Please note: Tiny Prints is really trying to get the word out this year about their new Christmas card designs. By blogging about their wonderful cards they're rewarding bloggers with 50 Christmas or Holiday cards.* If you know of any bloggers that you think would be fabulous for this campaign, please have them fill out this form http://blog.tinyprints.com/feature-tiny-prints-christmas-cards/.

*I'm so pleased to have been able to write this blog post! All opinions are mine and are 100% true!

C'mon Ride The Train...

2011-11-07T18:29:00.000-08:00

Grab a cup of coffee...

or a mug of hot chocolate...

Forget about your troubles, spread around your DNA, and join me in tweeting some utter nonsense!

...it's a choo choo train!

When The Ex Remarries...

2011-11-07T08:05:00.000-08:00

Do you have an ex? No, not just any ex-spouse...the one you "share" (a very, variable, term) children with?

Whether the divorce was 6 months ago or 6 years ago (or 60 years ago), do you remember the shift that took place when your ex remarried?

Maybe there wasn't a shift. It all (isn't that a loaded "all"?) remained static, interacting with one another in the same general way as you did before the other parent added this new person to his/her life?

Or did your life become a divorced, remarried, co-parenting, step-parenting, blender? Amazing what gets stirred up in the blender once you add a few ingredients!

I, myself, was pollyanna-ish enough to think that the rather friendly, agreeable, nature of my relationship with the Ex, which in itself took years to lead up to ~~after I decided that hiring a hit man was too expensive~~, would naturally continue when or if he ever decided to remarry. Go ahead, ask the question...What were you smoking, girl? Nothing. Sure, it could've been the Vicodin...as a matter of fact, I'm feeling some back pain coming on as we speak (erm..blog...as I type to the faceless masses...few...alright the one, who shows up for 2.5 seconds..from India. But I digress...)...

As yet more proof that women are more often criticized by their own sex is the (read: my) reality that from the moment my Ex chose and married (because that piece of paper is significant) his new wife, everything changed. Am I being critical of his wife, or she being critical of me? Did she damn our copacetic parenting, or did I?

My girlfriend says, "Is that her?" -sideways glance- "She doesn't look like his type."

His wife says, "Does she have to walk him out to the car?" -wrinkled brow- "She talks to you too much."

I remarried first. I ponder on that time...I don't recall a change in the game plan that had been hammered out through much trial and error with myself and the ex.

A year later the ex remarried...and now, several years into it...it still boggles my mind that I'm rebuilding an entirely new framework.

Or I could use the hammer in another way.

Sunday Stealing...I Did It

2011-11-06T08:23:00.000-08:00

Playing along with Sunday Stealing this Sunday...

1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
What? Who does that? Does it work? You know I'm going to be licking the next DVD that doesn't work, right? And then if that DVD is ever at the scene of a crime my DNA will be all over it. Thanks a lot for implicating me in a crime.

2. What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?

Hmmm...probably no more than 10 years. Next question...

3. Ever been in a car wreck?

Sure, but it's hardly worth mentioning. Some idiot decided that fishing for something on the floor was more interesting than watching the interstate traffic and slammed into me.

4. Were you popular in high school?

Ha! No.

5. Have you ever been on a blind date?
See the above answer...

6. Are looks important?

I'm a terrible person. Yes, looks are important...at least to some degree. Now I feel bad about that carton of ice cream I finished for dinner.

7. Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more?

Yup. Quite a few, in fact. So there...take that. (what?)

8. By what age would you like to be married?

Erm...did I miss something? Is this for 16 year olds?

9. Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them?

No.

10. Have you ever made a mistake?

Never. Never, ever. NEVER, NEVER, EVER. (do you believe me? Ha, that's a mistake)

11. Are you a good tipper?

Typically.

12. What’s the most you have spent for a haircut?

Just a cut (no color, styling, etc) around $80

13. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

That's it, this IS for 16 year olds, isn't it?

14. Have you ever peed in public?

As in restroom? As in side of the road? Yes. No.

15. What song do you want played at your funeral?
"This is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it..."
Gotcha!

16. Would you tell your parents if you were gay?

See #13

17. What would your last meal be before getting executed?

Why am I being executed? Does this have something to do with my DNA on the CD???

18. Beatles or Stones?

Why, is this my choice for non-working CD's that I must lick?

19. If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who would it be?

Don't think I'm not on to you! I pick a person, they suddenly end up dead, and the cops show up with the Beatles CD that has my saliva all over it while I'm doing a happy dance. That's right...I see your game here.

20. Beer, wine or hard liquor?

Wine.

21. Do you have any phobias?
Not tellin'.

22. What are your plans for the future?

To hit the publish button! (drum roll please)

Six Word Description? That was easy!

2011-11-05T10:14:00.000-07:00

'I need another cup of coffee'

Straight Out Of The Camera - The Birds

2011-11-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

Joining up with Marvelous Mommy for SOOC Saturday...

Which gives me a chance to tell you all that these birds are eating me out of house and home! Do you think I could sign up for WIB or something? (that's Women and Birds) Either that or I could start feeding them Cheerios?

Sometimes I look out the window and there they are...tons of them. Big birds, small birds, and I think of Alfred Hitchcock's movie The Birds! Which would almost be worth it, if I was the beautiful Tippi Hendren.

Sleeping With Mercurial

2011-11-04T02:00:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the movie Sleeping With The Enemy? Maybe not quite as memorable as "Pretty Woman" the year before it, but it's one of those movies I love re-watching.

Sleeping With The Enemy had it all...suspense, romance, mystery, horrible abusive husband, beautiful runaway wife, blah blah. But out of all of that, the scenes that I remember most vividly are those scenes where the towels had to be perfectly straight and even, and the soup cans in the cupboard were arranged in tidy rows, labels out, etc. Remember those scenes?

Well, I'd like to think of myself as the courageous Laura (turned Sara after she makes her escape), but I must admit...I'm really more like the evil Martin. Yes...it's true.

Okay, I don't have the mustache, I'd rather never hear Sympthony Fantastique by choice, I've never actually flown into a murderous rage (well, not all the way), and thus far no one has faked their death to avoid me.

And yet this afternoon I rearranged the chairs around the kitchen table at least 10 times...because each chair must be pushed in far enough so that the seat back is 2 inches from the table edge. If the chair is too far out, over, or slightly off kilter I feel that murderous rage and stomp around muttering, "Why can't people push their #()%*$W chairs in to the #)*W(#$% right spot. #$()$*%!" which is followed shortly by checking to see if the living room rug is off kilter, a drawer has been closed all the way, or if the remote controls are lined with, edges straight, on the end table.

I might have to keep a closer eye on my husband for unusual amounts of time taking swimming lessons...

Happy (Fawk You) Friday to my Stormy Followers! And a shout out: Fawk You, OCD making me want to straighten all the soup cans. I hate soup. FAWK!

Avoiding The Math Classes

2011-11-03T02:00:00.000-07:00

T minus ummm...some days...a lot of days, really. Like, at least...umm...30 + 30 = 60 ...so at least 60 days plus a few in January...so, something like ...maybe 70 days including whatever I missed in December and WAIT...it's already the third of November so 70 - 3 = ....67...

T minus approximately 67 days, give or take a few, until Mercurial returns to college after many, many, years!

Siding With Dad

2011-11-01T02:00:00.000-07:00

I haven't written a blog post recently about some of the aspects of divorced parenting (blended families, stepparenting, etc), so o when I found myself spinning through some thoughts this morning I decided to share them (I know, I know, lucky you).

I have an aspect of guilt that I'm not sure is shared by most divorced moms...because it's not guilt over the divorce or remarriage or general upheaval that all of this causes (though I have plenty of that). It's guilt over choosing sides...or rather, the fact that I don't, as a rule, side with the women.

Women are so much harder on other women...and we're that way even as young girls it seems. We scrutinize one another, gossip, and tear each other apart often for little purpose (except to boost ourselves up). Knowing this, and being the girl, teenager, and woman who has always felt she was under a microscope, I've made it a general rule to drop the scrutiny and try to be the mom/woman who supports her fellow mom. We're all fallible and have the most difficult job(s) on the planet...why must we be so hard on each other?

I fail miserably at playing this supportive role at a time that is, possibly, the most important. As a divorced mom, I find myself forming knee-jerk reactions towards other divorced mom's...and it's completely nonsensical. I often don't know these women beyond their child playing sports with mine, or seeing each other in the pick-up line at school. So when I hear that they, too, are divorced (or are going through a divorce), why do I instantly feel myself rejecting them (and whatever their reasons may be/have been) and feeling sorry for the Dad?

Just the thought of some women judging me in this same way, feeling sorry for my son's Dad and instantly thinking I must be a witch (yes, I do that) fills me with rage. If they only knew...

And in a world where women should be bolstering other women up, I'm internally tearing them down. For no reason. Over something that is so difficult, is so fraught with a million and one difficulties...without throwing in random judgement.

I am mired in guilt over these feelings, and I know that they stem from being the wife of a man who has been the bearer of this same judgement in reverse. Women, and men, who look at a divorced Dad and wonder what's wrong with him. They feel sorry for the woman who has to negotiate life with this man for the rest of their life. They may even feel sorry for the children involved...sorry that 'this man' is their father.

Neither snap judgement is appropriate, and I of all people, should know better.

This Is Your Hair On Drugs...

2011-10-31T02:00:00.000-07:00

If you didn't read my post the other day you may not have heard that I spent nearly half my life at the salon last week. Seriously...I felt myself age as I sat there...

and sat there...

and sat there.

Alright, I moved a few times. From the stylists chair to the shampoo bowls back to the stylists chair and then back to the shampoo bowls (are you getting a sense it wasn't going well) and then back to the stylists chair.

For a total of 6 and a half hours.

I didn't weep. Mercurial, for the win!

Two days later I returned to the salon for what was supposed to be a quick fix. Nearly 4 hours later I left, with my happy face plastered in place, and wondering if it was just me...or if the look I was after was impossible.

I wish I could show you pictures of the process, which I could've sworn I took, but I can't find them. I probably erased them in a fit of rage.

The end result won't have me locked in a bell tower or anything, but the hell if it was worth it!

End result, with TONS of product...

I haven't had the pleasure yet of seeing my hair without extreme amounts of goop, glop, and serum, and conditioner in it...but then, I'm afraid to shower, because it'll probably all fall out in my hands.

I think I'm going to be very stinky for the next 6 months. You've been warned.

Crafty Goodness With Help

2011-10-28T18:50:00.000-07:00

So the last time I wrote a craft related blog post it was to regale about what a sucktastic crafter I am...despite my love of reading craft blogs.

This time, however, I found a craft simple enough that even I could...and DID...do it! And I should've known that the craft that would finally work for me would be from my absolute favorite craft blogger, Erika, at Oops I Craft My Pants (and seriously, could she have a better blog name?).

So check it out: Boot Socks from the amazing Erika! I grabbed a sweater, some scissors, and went to town.

And I must say, the results were beyond cool...

Oh yes, even I can craft with a little help from a friendly, crafty, blogger:

Oops I Craft My Pants (more boot socks)